The Problems With Leonhart's and Morning Sex
by KiraSakura
Summary: Everyone knew that the Leonhart brothers' had a libido the size of Texas. And that they liked morning sex more than they should. Feel for their boyfriends [SoRiku, Cleon] [For Ame]


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Kingdom Hearts I, II or CoM

**Warnings: **Sexual references, shounen-ai. Don't like, the bug off. Any flames will end with a fic dedicated to you about Sora and Riku making out front of a fire.

**Authors Notes: **No, I don't know where this came from. Well, actually I do. You see, I decided to clean out my 'Things Written' folder, where I keep all my fanfiction and everything. So I sitting there, reading things, decided whether or not to put them in my 'Finish Later' folder or my 'Scraps' folder. And then I found the beginning of this. So I sent it to Ame, who suggested several things, but in the end I just finished it off with Cid's death. I was originally gonna do something Limey, but I couldn't work it in. Oh well. This is for Ame (Broken Vows, people), who is cool and writes REALLY good Riku-angst. GO AME!

**OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

**Beeeeeeeeeeeeep**

**Beeeeeeeeeeeeep**

**Beeeeeeeeeeeeep**

"Aaand good morning, folks! This is 85.7KICKFM, giving you your morning dose of music! First up, This is How I Disappear, by My Chemical Romance!"

"Nnngh…" a pale hand rose from the mass of blankets, and swatted about, trying to kill the goddamn alarm. It wasn't dying, damn it! "Stupid piece of junk not worthy of my fucking time too fucking early in the freakin' morning and _**DIE DAMNIT DIE**_!!" Was yelled from the blankets, before a silver haired head popped out. The owner of said head was glaring at the _evil_ alarm clock for all his blue-green eyes were worth, and letting out a growl he lunged at it. The alarm clock seemed to squeak, although that was the noise of the music, before being sent on a four-metre trip of a lifetime, and slamming into the wall. Hard. It made a whirring noise, before dying.

"Finally…" The boy snapped, right eye twitching erratically. He pushed down the blankets, and pulled his seventeen-year-old ass from the bed. He shuffled over to his wardrobe, stepping over the smoking alarm, and pulled from it his normal attire. Baggy blue pants, plain black long sleeved shirt, white zip up vest, and dragged himself into the adjoining bathroom. He turned on the water, only to be sprayed with a blast of cold water. Much snickering could be heard.

"_**SHIT**_**! GODDAMNIT, CLOUD! CHANGE THE FUCKING HOT WATER OVER BEFORE I **_**FUCKING**__**KILL**_** YOU!!**" Was hollered from the room, along with a string of loud, colourful, and interesting curses. More giggling, along with a bump crash bang. The sound of water stopped. The house became deadly still. Downstairs, in the laundry, sat a boy of nineteen, with spiky blonde hair and amazing blue eyes, in fear. "Maybe I went to far…" He mumbled to himself.

"**YOU **_**THINK**_" And in the doorway appeared Mr. Silver head, in all his naked, save-for-a-towel-around-the-waist, pissed off, _cold _glory. "What the _fuck_ is wrong with you?! Jesus, Cloud! **HOW MANY BOWELS OF FRUIT LOOPS DID YOU HAVE THIS MORNING?!**"

Cloud blinked, before looking away guiltily.

"Fifteen…"

"_**FIFTEEN?!**_"

"And three of those king sized Cherry Ripe bars…and a packet of gummi goofies…"

More silence. Cue yelling of much anger.

"**WHAT IN THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?! GOD! AND YOU'RE THE FUCKING OLDEST!**!" Oh, there goes the towel…

"But _Riii-kuuu_…why did you let Sora have that many? He's worse than meeeee…"

"Yeah, but he's a hot little monkey when full of sugar. I have the hickies to prove it. And---"

"_**HOLY SHIT!**_" Both Cloud and Riku stopped their argument, and turning around came face-to-face to Sora Leonhart. He was a cute little thing really, with spiky (there's something going on here…) brunette hair, and the prettiest blue eyes you've ever seen. He was rather…feminine in looks, but he was a fierce little bugger when he wanted to be. As his older brother, Squall (We'll call him Leon, cause I _like_ having my head) knew only too well. There was a scar across his face after a fatal accident with Sora and a chocolate-chip muffin. The muffin didn't make it.

Anyways, Sora's eyes had become very, very wide, and he was drooling. Drooling, damnit! Sora Leonhart _does not_ drool. Which is whack, cause he's drooling right now!

"Mmm…morning sex…" He mumbled, a dreamy look making its way onto his face. Before Riku even knew what the hell was happening, he found himself being dragged upstairs by an overly-horny brunette. Oh dear. Riku glared down at the sniggering form of Cloud, and hissed in a dangerous voice, "I'll. Get. You"

Cloud eeped, and snuck away to the kitchen, in hopes that chocolate-chip pancakes would save him from his younger brother's wrath. Riku wasn't much of a morning sex fan. He preferred 11pm sex, thank you very much. Morning sex meant he had to have another shower afterwards, where 11pm sex let him sleep.

So Cloud entered the cheery yellow kitchen, and started to root around in the cupboards, ass sticking up in the air. He was too busy swearing at the honey to hear the kitchen door creak open, and the sound of a deep voice going, "Oi, Cloud. Has Sora turned up around here?...scratch that. _What_ are you doing?"

Cue Squall Leonhart, Sora's older brother. Steel-grey eyes flicked over the kitchen counter, and fell upon a firm ass. Leon got an almost predatory grin, and before Cloud knew what was happening he found himself being hiked over Leon's shoulder, still clutching the flour and eggs.

"Leon! What are you doing?!" Cloud demanded. "Morning sex" Was his reply. Oh yes. Fear the Leonhart brother's libido. It was a truly terrifying thing.

"What?! NO! I have to make pancakes for Riku, lest he make me run down the street naked!" Cloud cried, dropping the flour.

"Well, that's a good thing" Leon smirked, trekking up the stairs. "No it's not!" Cloud yelled back, before smashing a egg against Leon's leather pants in a desperate attempt to be let go. Instead he got a slap to the ass and a stern warning of, "Cloud…"

No one heard from the Strife brothers that morning. Well, they heard them alright. Along with several shouts, screams and yells of "I'm coming! I'm coming! AAAAAAAAAH!". But not from them directly. Except their neighbour, who promptly died several seconds after from blood loss. But no one liked Cid anyways. He was a jerk.


End file.
